The Blog of a Fat Ass

Hey Bungie… how about giving Hugh Jass and his three friends a little Halo Reach love with some of those pre-release beta codes? Ala “Get Off Your Fat Ass” vs. ” Don’t Make Us Kick Your Ass…”

I promise we know how to break things… so that you guys can fix ‘em…. because “We’ve got great hands.”

Thanks,
Hugh

So, a crazy guy attacked U.S. soldiers in Fort Hood. He lives, but 13 others (and possibly more to come) parish. Our prayers and thoughts reside with those affected by this attack. The President refers to this as an “incident” vs. a “terrorist attack” (mainly so he doesn’t have to admit that a terrorist attack occurred on his watch), but clearly, a man shooting unarmed civilians, particularly military members, who he didn’t have close associations with, IS a terrorist attack.

While reading through the various articles on this news story, I noticed several comments about how he was probably a video game player. Much like the Columbine attacks, some people deduced and will point at violent video games as the root of all evil in our society. The majority of the time, I disregard such comments, but occasionally I stop to point out that television, social groups, and even religion can lead individuals to commit such atrocities. In this case, it may have been his extreme Islamic faith rather than video games that led him to this attack.

Perhaps it is because I consider myself a gamer and know that I could never conduct such an act, that makes me feel as if it is a personal attack on a hobby that I greatly appreciate when individuals deduce such reason.

After all that is said though, I picked up this week’s latest copy of Modern Warfare 2. In this game, there is a particular level in which you are a deep undercover CIA agent who gets in with a group of Russian terrorists… and this group opens fire on a civilian airport. Killing hundreds of innocent people at gunpoint. When I played this, it turned my stomach. I had a sick feeling, and I was shocked that a company could release a product such as this… Moreover, the mental imagery of this level has led to nightmares and pictures that I can’t get out of my head. You can search YouTube for “MW2 airport” if you want to see just how sick this is…

Shock and awe… perhaps news articles being published about the game, controversy to make headlines… it all helps to sell more copies which in turn means more profit for the company.

As a gamer, I can say without a doubt, it is one of the best games I have ever played. It plays on so many different emotions, and is intense from start to finish. As a person, I can say without a doubt that my kids won’t be playing it anytime soon. As an adult, I can recognize that this is simply a game, just like a movie is simply a movie. You have to separate fact from reality. Will a person playing this game possibly try to recreate or carry out a similar act of violence? Possibly.

I guess my conclusion is that I’m a hypocrite. I do believe that video games could push someone to real life experiences, but I don’t want them to be censored or restricted. If anything, I hope that aging gamers who become parents realize that like anything, certain games in the wrong hands of individuals can do more harm than good.

On a positive note, even though it is probably a little PR related, I was happy to see Activision donated some of the proceeds from this game to help Veterans.

In conclusion… don’t blame video games, blame the individuals that could not separate fact from fiction. Let parents decide what their kids should and should not be able to play, but PLEASE parents… use some common sense… “M” means mature. And finally, keep in mind that playing video games is a great way to keep up the great work of being a FAT ASS!

Well, I have to apologize for not doing much with this site. I guess I need to get off of my fat ass. However, I’ve decided to start using this site as a method to vent. No, not vent as in sit on my fat ass with a cold Coors Light, vent as in ”let out what is frustrating me.”

And so, I shall vent today about the South Carolina State Representative Joe Wilson who shouted out “You Lie!” to president Obama during his health care reform speech yesterday evening.  Some people such as Jack Cafferty believe there should be punishment for this display of rudeness…

I say… why? People will argue that the president should be shown respect… his office demands respect, and that he as an individual should be treated like royalty. I again ask… why? He could have given the speech from the oval office if he wanted to avoid conflict. Instead, he came to their home floor… and then publicly declared that the republicans were not helping his cause. I could see how several of them could be a wee bit upset about that, especially knowing that many of them have worked countless hours to help in the development of these reforms. On top of this, some would argue that they work for the president, this is NOT true… the president works for US, the people. Congress works for US, the people…

Second, some individuals say the president is owed respect. As Chief of our armed forces, I whole heartedly agree that our military members are responsible for giving him the respect he deserves (and I have done so in the past). However, as a representative of congress, I am proud to see individuals willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in, what they believe is best for their constituents. It is after all, what creates checks and balances within our government system.

So in conclusion, I feel Joe was a little disrespectful for his outcry. However, I don’t think he should be punished. Instead, I think he should publicly come out and retort why he made the comment. Make it known exactly how this plan fails and how illegal immigrants will still benefit at our cost. I personally think Obama’s health care reform is a great idea… but I also think that he’s not giving us the full picture. He’s not telling everyone how much it’s going to cost everyone, and I feel that forcing someone to take insurance invades upon an individual’s freedom. Compared to car insurance, an individual has the option to not have a car… they don’t have the option of not taking health care insurance. I think that an individual should be given the opportunity to pass on healthcare coverage, but I also believe that a doctor/hospital should have the right to deny care to that individual for lack of coverage. We can’t stop people from being idiots, but we sure as hell can stop paying for them to be idiots.

Moreover, I believe in the old saying “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is…”
If you can give everyone health care coverage, eliminate pre-existing conditions, keep everyone’s existing coverage, and not raise the national deficit… then I commend you. Otherwise, I think you’re blowing a whole lot of smoke. Then again, that’s what politicians are typically best at…

I wish Democrats and Republicans the best of luck in tackling this issue. I challenge you to get off your fat ass and work together to come up with a solution that best suits everyone. Good Luck!

This past weekend, I had several friends participate in the MS150. I would like to applaud them on a job well done! We believe that if you’re going to go to the effort of getting off your fat ass, then it should be for a great cause.

That said, this upcoming weekend, we’re getting off our fat ass to fight cancer! And you can help by donating to our team… “A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts”  All proceeds go to help the American Cancer Society.

Carnac the Magnificent... 'Memphis' - Who will win the 2009 NCAA Tournament?

Ok, so some guys go a little overboard. But it is the time of year when a fat ass can truly celebrate. We start by getting drunk on green beer, and finish by watching college basketball teams tear one another apart. March is definitely a month to be a fat ass.

That said, we strongly urge you to make your own picks this season. Forget the computer analysis, turn off the ESPN sports hosts, and just go with your gut. For those of you interested, Hugh Jass has picked Memphis to win it all this year. Why Memphis? Why not?

Congrats to all the ballers out there, may your picks take you deep into your bracket…
-Hugh

I came across this today and thought it was halarious. 68 kg is approximately 150 lbs… 

Lucky for us Americans, this is in the Netherlands, but I can’t help but wonder how long until Weight Watchers, Ballys, or 24 Hour Fitness has these suckers all over the major U.S. cities. It is brilliant advertising. Talk about telling someone to get off their fat ass…

I think a better advertisement would be for an air conditioning / heater company to put in some cooling/heating depending on the location of the stop (though that might promote unwanted inhabitants).

 I also wonder how long it will be before kids have this sucker piled high full or rocks or trash just to get the number really high? I think an advertisement like this would work really well near a jogging track too (because people that work out frequent a place such as that, and often sit down to tie on different shoes or take a breather).

As I was walking through the office the other day, I noticed several people playing solitaire on their computers. I wasn’t sure whether to be shocked that these people were not working or shocked by the fact that they were playing solitaire?  I guess I would have been equally shocked if they had been playing minesweeper.

Surely by now people know that there are a ton of online resources for entertainment? Why would you revert to playing solitaire? Pogo. Yahoo Games. CBC Kids. I found it humorous that people were still playing this “age old” game and then came across this article/picture the very next day. Needless to say, I guess I’m proud of all of the Solitaire playing fat asses out there. May your computer screens be filled with bouncing cards.

Of course, this lead me to my next observation where a co-worker was looking at an adult entertainment site. I have no idea whether or not our company filters sites or reviews employee internet use, but I know this individual would probably be in charge of such filters/reviews if they existed. Needless to say he was bored, and was obviously enjoying his entertainment much more than the solitaire players.

With the economy slowing, the impact has slowed the work day to the point that people find themselves with more time. Of course this time could be spent being more productive, organizing, or improving efficiency… but who needs that when you could be enjoying a good old game of solitaire, or some sex at the office.

-Hugh

So if you had the choice… which would you choose? 

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Chocolate with a cajun kick.

While sitting around a giant birthday celebration of boiled crawfish this weekend, I was a little disappointed with CFA members #000000032 (Jake Jones) and #000000047 (Dee Jones), of JakeAndDee.com. This pair of individuals has supposedly joined a gym, and now work out on an occasional regular basis.

Thankfully, before the conversation could get deep into squats and lifts, they mentioned how their trainer gave them a list of the ice creams that were better than others. Top of the list… Blue Bell Cookies and Cream. Hugh was proud when they both agreed that two cups of ice cream was a “small” bowl. Prouder still that they have a trainer that gives out ice cream lists. Plus, we were having this “workout” conversation while drinking cold beer and eating crawfish that had been soaked in butter. 

I also discovered at this feast fest a new idea for the website… FAT ASS TIPS, or FAT for short.

This week’s FAT comes from member #000000048 (Josh Jones) who admitted recently that he had ran out of chocolate syrup while making a glass of chocolate milk. Instead of giving up, Josh simply poured the milk into the Chocolate Syrup container and gave it a good shake. Finishing by drinking the milk, straight from the chocolate syrup bottle…   He didn’t have to dirty a glass, he utilized the entire contents of the chocolate container, and he provided his body with a nice source of sugar enriched calcium. Milk, it does a body good… WTG Josh… that’s being an awesome fat ass.

Many thanks to the Jones family for helping out the GOYFA community this week!

-Hugh

 Alas, it serves as a reminder to us all to not work too hard, enjoy the stars at night… and know that you are always a very tiny piece of the puzzle in the grand scheme of things. 

-Hugh

We don't like to be considered spam...

On several occasions now, I have spoken with fellow members of the American Council of Fat Asses (ACFA) who didn’t even know they were members. This is typically the result of one of two reasons:

1. The person is so much of a fat ass that they forgot to remember that they were a fat ass.
2. The person or person’s software filtered the initiation email as “SPAM”  (WE HATE THIS)

If it is reason number one… we couldn’t be more proud of you. Go You. You’re an awesome GOYFA.

However, if reason number two occurred, we’re deeply apologetic. It seems that software and the sub-conscious mind like to think the word “ass” translates to “instant spam”.

We’ve thought about changing up our format to seem less “spam” like, we’ve even tried to put a “low priority” marker on our email, but for now, we’re going to leave things as they are…

To help us though, we would like to ask you to certify a fat ass by clicking here (strength in numbers). And if you ever question whether or not you’re already a member… simply email me at HughJass<at>GetOffYourFatAss.com as I love reminding people of their fat ass status.

Thanks,
Hugh